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If we’ve learned anything from zombie apocalypse movies over the years, it’s that the real danger of your life is running out of food. You need food to build shelter or mental clarity to escape the eating brain. Or, in the event of an earthquake, you may want to go without utility and water for a few days.

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So while it may seem a little silly to stock up on groceries to not only keep you alive, but make you happier when you eat, I think it goes a long way in the best part of making you feel a little better about the compulsion. [screaming-smiling emoji] to eat in the midst of disaster.

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With this assignment, I’m sharing with you what I’m putting together in a “cooking pot”. These are items that are safe to eat by ticks in an earthquake, and they include a few things that will help everything that is cold canned food come across a little better.

First, a report on canned foods – which should supplement the bulk of your diet, as the food is already cooked and contains moisture, which is important when trying to conserve water. Canned vegetables of all kinds are good here, but choose what you know you’ll eat — if you’ve never tried canned asparagus, now’s not the time to try it.

I can eat black beans, creamed corn, canned peaches and canned yams from the can – cold – any week and be normal and happy, I know I will be. But I can go for plain beans, flavors and spices because I can’t add my own. Of course there are canned soups, but without reason, I find myself eating these cold out of the can instead of mixing something myself. But grab baked beans, chili, and refried beans—all staples that come in a variety of flavors—and maybe indulge that part of you that’s always been curious about what they taste like.

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And you can’t talk without mentioning spam. So, if you like it, you should put it in the kit. Not yet, so I substitute lots of canned fish and seafood such as oil-packed tuna, sardines, mackerel, and whitefish. You want your canned protein to be a little fatty, because all these things are good, so the food doesn’t run out. Stay away from the crab or clams, though – eating something about these at room temperature just doesn’t feel right, even during a natural disaster. But if he smokes something well to seal the shells, he will not regret it.

Most recommendations are one bottle per day (and pet) for three days. In a hot climate like ours, you may want more. Learn more about the earthquake reports and what they concluded in them >>

The enclosure is usually outside, often in a side yard. If you smell steam after an earthquake, turn the quadrant to make it perpendicular to the pipe coming out of the ground. More on what to do during and immediately after a shock >>

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MyShake, built by UC Berkeley, aims to give West Coasters a second threat before the big shake starts. Learn more about earthquake apps and the California forecast system >>

Seismologist Lucy Jones writes that people are more important than clothes, a fixed supply of water or batteries. That’s why she says you should start talking to your neighbors >>

After canned food, the next priority are dry foods, because they have a shelf life and remain in almost any condition. I’m a head chef, so I came up with a lot of different types – game with black pepper, salmon with brown sugar, bison with four-legged sauce. I also want to have dry fruits in hand, especially dried palms, apricots, cranberries, raisins, scallions, scabies, and figs, the better and thicker.

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And while you may only be thinking about post-hike meals, as any hiker will tell you, you still want snacks. Add your favorite cereal, granola and even some candy bars. A jar of nut butter might be a luxury, but it’s probably the most effective food you can store. And the film of oil on top keeps it fresher than whole nuts, which if not vacuum-packed would quickly go rancid in your kit. Pair it with a container and carb-free PB&J on your spoon when you need it. Or you know, sprinkle rice on a cake.

Here, where things occupy a small drop. While these are not necessary, I recommend that if you have the means and space in your arms, to keep your breath throughout the meal: a bowl of oil, your favorite vinegar, hot sauce, a pinch of honey, soy sauce, a bag of flaky seafood or tajín – or a spice mix like togarashi or dukkah. Drizzle oil and vinegar over these canned beans. Dip the dried palm into the Tajín. Squirt in some salmon jerky vinegar. Then come the third or fourth day you eat the same thing, believe me you will enjoy and have all this. (They also come in handy for “recipes” from the stash, like these.

Dape canned and find a little seasoning. These earthquakes make emergency food more palatable.

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Finally, give yourself permission to eat as much junk food as you want. It’s not ideal, but you can also survive a natural disaster to pay a little (now it’s time to live and not worry about gaining weight). We’ve all had those days in airports where the only thing we had to eat for 24 hours was trail mix salt, dry cookies and sports drinks, as you can tell by this.

With each breathing cycle, pack your kit with that “fun pack” of your favorite chips, a bowl of Oreos, or that box of chicken crunch biscuits (they know the facts), and for once in your life eat something that makes you happy. Once the lights and water return, gather yourself together and live the joys of eating sweet herbs.

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Ben Mims is a culinary columnist for the Los Angeles Times. She has written three cookbooks and worked as a food editor and recipe developer for several media food publications such as Lucky Peach, Food & Wine, Saveur, Food Network and Buzzfeed/Tasty.

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